These Little Things That Keep Me From Drowning
by Cacolac
Summary: It had all ended with a hug on a threshold three hundred miles from his home and a last kiss. Now all they had to do was move on. Holly/Michael


_**Disclaimer:** Not mine_

**These Little Things that Keep me from Drowning**

On her first day back to Nashua, everyone asks her if it's true, if Scranton isn't just a myth brandished by the direction to scare them. She shrugs it off, plasters a smile on her face and tells them that no, the branch isn't what is going to drown them all and yes, they do manage to get some sells done. She doesn't mention raccoons, Ferris wheels or baby showers. It seems safer and this way she doesn't have to explain how much more it is, how it's kind of a family (she has to admit Mike has managed to create this weird (and dysfunctional) link between his employees) although in the end, they're not all friends. She keeps this to herself and smiles when she sees her colleagues obsessed by numbers. It's probably wiser their way but knowing that somewhere out there, there is this unsettling island where people get engaged to each other, auction hugs off and aren't as desperate as they like to think helps her through the day.

--

For his first Monday alone, he decides to watch Heroes, even though he doesn't really like the show. He knows that had she been there, they would have been curled up on the sofa, eating some Chinese food while she would have pointed out all the plot holes and impossibilities. He thinks about calling her to be sure she's watching too, but somehow it seems unnecessary.

--

Whenever she talks to Wallace, she can hear the apologetic tone. She doesn't blame him for what happened, he had been right (while they had been unforgivably careless). She wonders how Michael treats him, he might not be as understanding and she hopes he won't do anything stupid. She never asks about him, but someone tells her he'll be the one going to Winnipeg. She looks on Google Map how far it is from Scranton. She somehow discovers that there should only be about five hours between Nashua and Scranton. She's not sure how she feels about it.

--

He knows he shouldn't apologize or anything because they are just not together anymore, but he still feels strange when he kisses Marie-the-concierge and he really hopes he had had a little more drinks. She reminds her of Jan more than Holly and maybe it's a good thing because this way she still stands alone in her very special category. Nothing seems really good, though, as he walks out of a Winnipeg corridor at night without his shoes on. He's a little cold.

--

In just a month she's settled back into her own little routine. Work, yoga, getting out with a few friends, all is good. Well... Yeah, all is good. Now she just needs to convince herself.

--

Toby's back. It's almost as if she's never been there, like nothing had changed. Yet he feels a little different. Toby's back with his dullness, so unlike Holly's quirkiness he becomes a living reminder of what he's lost. He tries to get rid of him. Maybe if Toby left, he wouldn't have to think about her so much.

--

The white snow covering Nashua for Thanksgiving reminds her of Des Moines and how she used to play around with her brothers. They are now scattered all over the country and she's not sure what being a family means anymore. She wonders what's keeping her in Nashua. Maybe it's snowing in Scranton too.

--

It's nearly Christmas and he has like a few thousand ideas of presents for Holly. On a snowy Saturday afternoon, he finds himself walking in a jewellery, wondering how it would feel like to have someone to buy these kinds of things to. A few minutes later, he leaves with a ring in a small box and still no one to give it to. On Christmas Eve, he spends his whole morning pondering whether to drive to Nashua, to go back to her for good. But he's pretty much tied to his condo (who's lost, like, half his value in the last months) and really, he can't see how he could start again in a new firm. When he decides not to go, he's certain it's the sort of thing he'll regret his whole life, like how he never got to hit that little punk that used to bully him or how he never stepped up to Packer.

--

She spends Christmas Eve at a colleague's party. It's not that great, she doesn't know anyone, but it's better than being alone at home and she can act like she has a life or something. Every drink seems like a step towards oblivion, towards a world without him. It's not the answer, she inevitably finds out, while she's making out with some faceless guy she's not working with. It all feels awfully normal, but she finds a way to get out of this hell the moment she gets her wits back. As she's walking through the white city to get a cab, she decides to get an early start on her new year's resolutions.

--

When he wakes up on Christmas Day, he has the strong impression he's having a hangover, which is uncanny because he didn't drink a drop of alcohol last night. He thinks about calling Holly, just to wish her a merry Christmas, but he's not sure he's brave enough. It's been two months, he realises, which means she's probably happily settled back in her old life (at this mere thought he wants to hit his head with a frying pan). There's perhaps even some jerk who's allowed to kiss her and take her hand. He spends his day lazily hanging at home alone, drinking eggnog while he's watching some bad Christmas specials on TV. It feels a lot like his childhood, with a tad more disillusionment. It's only when the intruder rings for the third time that he gets up to answer the door.

--

So it turns out it's more like six hours to go to Scranton. When she pulls in front of his condo, the night is starting to fall. There is no other car than his own and she is blinded by his obnoxious decorations. He's home. She's not quite certain it's a good idea yet, but not going never seemed the best choice. It's cold outside, though she's not sure that's why she's shivering.

'Hey.' she whispers, when he opens the door. His frown disappears the moment he sees her, replaced by the huge goofy smile she knows so well.

She strangely feels home.

--

_English isn't my mother tongue. If there are some clumsy phrasings, please feel free to tell me, it will be greatly appreciated._

_Hope you enjoyed._


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